~rainbow warriors~

Tuesday, 25th February 2003

"That will be the dream that I remember today ~

the dream that makes me feel centered and connected and powered by quiet, timeless energy. Thanks for sharing it."

a friend wrote these lines to me yesterday, after he visited timestones, one of my animations, the one that takes you to the temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodia.

and these lines, they were like a piece of puzzle, that together with other pieces i was handed in the last days and in India suddenly turned into a bigger picture, giving me some kind of answer to those answerless questions that accompany me since i started writing, since i started travelling.

questions like where do the words I write come from. how will my life shape when I follow that road. why it is me that is given these opportunities, like being able to travel and to write, and this without having to fight for it but rather with being invited to it. why is life handing all those things to me.

and then India. where i expected to walk through dirt, to be hazzled and scammed, to have to struggle to get what i want. but no. i was welcomed by India. to me, India was a beautiful country full of wonderful people. India was great days, with great conversations that helped me to put some patches of drifting thoughts together

like this one. i was passing a shop, and the owner invited me to have a cup of Chai tea. i answered: "No, sorry, I don't want to buy". he said: "I invited you for a cup of tea, not to buy. You see, it is a slow afternoon, and so why not have a tea." first i didn't believe, we talked and i waited for the moment the conversation would turn to the things he sells. but it didn't. we talked about Germany, how the fall of the Berlin wall was, and how the reunion is. about India, about the different language in this country. and then, about dreams. "What is your dream of life?" the shop owner asked me. and i said: "Really, you can't ask these kind of questions to someone you just met half an hour ago."

but then i answered: "I want to become a writer. I dream of being able to live of my writing." he nodded. and then i asked him, curious, "And you, what is your dream?". he said: "I want my family to be happy." and i was ashamed about having so selfish dreams compared to his. but he smiled and said: "Maybe that is the big difference between my country and your country." and then he searched for an explanation of it and said: "You know, life in India is not so easy, that's why we don't have the big dreams, but still we enjoy life." and i said "And maybe even though life is not easy here, i have the feeling you enjoy it more than we do in my country."

this conversation, i still think of it every day. so much said in just some simple sentences.

or that one: i met an Indian student, and we drank tea together and talked about our lives. and i told him of my travels. he was amazed that i have been to so many places. he wasn't jealous, but enjoyed me talking about those other countries. and then he said: "You know, life didn't give me the opportunity to travel, but i do a lot of mindtravelling."

and then on the way to Varanasi i was given a book by someone i met.. a special meeting and a special book. the book is called "The Celestine Prophecy", it's a novel but it is much more, it rather is an explanation of another concept of the world that bases on the believe that our world and our lives are influenced by deeper energies. that there is no such thing as coincidence. and that we now reach a time of change where people start to connect to those energies. and that there are places where you can get connected to those energies more easily. like in old forests. or old houses. or special places. that there are "chance events that occur just at the right moment, and bring forth just the right individuals", as though "our expectation itself causes our energy to flow out into the world and effect other energy systems", so that we "experience a new way that connects us", so that we can fulfill "our quest in this lifetime"

and then i came to Varanasi and just experienced what the book was talking about: a calming peaceful place that gives energy. a place where my feelings changed. where i felt a wave of gratefulness rise inside me, felt that i can trust life, and felt that all those things in my life aren't just coincidence, that all things happen for a reason, and that one day i will understand - and that it is okay like it is, that i don't need to know the reasons and the answers at the moment.

and now i am back home, and am working with my memories of India, start to put them in words and pictures and web movies.

and get this mail from the editor of Pieran Spring who wants me to work on "timestones" again and goes out of his way and puts together a long letter to help me make the animation better ... and so i go back from India to Cambodia and work with these pictures of Angkor Wat again, of this incredible powerful place.. and do the new version in a day and see by myself the difference India has made to me, and send the test version to a friend, and get this feedback that puts the difference timestone makes in words.

and then another e-mail, a friend saying.. "It's others who are on the same plane as you....and people like me who need this in our lives...that see and appreciate people like you""

and then another e-mail, from another editor, from an internet travel magazine that wants to publish a Cambodia travelogue of mine

and this editor went to my blueprint website in search of some illustrations for the travelogue. and as she liked what she saw there, she invited me to contribute to a new e-magazine that will be called Zuvuya.net, a website that is about

"...who we are, time, culture, our presence and our relationship within the universe: material practicality had sacrifices aesthetics and mythology in the quest for mundane comfort and conformity. But gradually this duality is being transcended for when the earth is sick and the animals have disappeared, there shall come a new tribe formed from all cultures and all races, to heal the earth. This tribe shall be called the "warriors of the rainbow."

so the website is basically about the same idea like the one described in the novel "Celestial Prophecy", only that it is real. and that they want me to be a part of it.

until yesterday i more or less just saw all these events as solitary, not as connected.

and then yesterday afternoon i played timestones again and thought of all these events. and suddenly i saw the connection and i understood what i am doing. though i still don't know how i do this. but basically, i go travel, and somehow find those special places, and get touched by their energy, get a feeling for them. and it's this feeling that i put into words and pictures, it's this touch i send out into the world, so that the quiet timeless energy of those places can spread and connect to those who haven't the opportunity to go there themselves but who need the energy in their lives.

or put it like this: i am a rainbow warrior. that is why the words come to me. and that is why i need to be out in nature every day. and that is also why i sometimes connect to special other people. because they are rainbow warriors, too. because they are of the same tribe. moved by the same energy

i am sure this still isn't the whole picture. but i feel just like in my animation "sometimes in Varanasi" ~ click the picture to see it:

i feel just like you feel when you always only have seen patches of the world, like looking out of tiny windows.. and then suddenly someone opens the door. and you see. and you stand there amazed, wondering why you haven't seen it before

wow. what a day.
will go now to run through the forest and get a long hot and cold shower and have a cup of tea

~rainbow smiles~
Do

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next: just when i thought

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