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~new moon~ Wednesday, 5th March 2003
i didn't realize it, but it was new moon on Monday, maybe that is another reason why i felt like this is the start of a new season without being able to explain the reason. but then i guess it is always easier to notice things that are bright and shining and are hanging in the middle of the sky than things that are temporarily not there, that have gone for a little while or just turned incognito ~ at least in the beginning, at least until the moment you feel there is something missing and you start to look for it high and low without even knowing what you are searching for, and when you have found it, or rather found the hole that it left in the fabric of your life, it washes over you like water, like a sudden surf that hits you while you are in the ocean swimming in smooth waves, just when you where thinking that all is easy, and you wonder why you hadn't seen it coming guess
that is what happened to me last week, when my world suddenly turned
blue, not so much because there was so maybe it was this vast shapeless bareness at the bottom of the blues that made me browse through the photos from Jaisalmar and Udaipur and Varanasi and all those other destinations ~
made me visit those places again that were just unlinked names for me a short while ago and are now filled with memories and melodies, and i was simply glad when i found a potion of the magic of them inside the photos i shot. shot. what a word for taking pictures, as if taking a picture would leave a blank spot in the scenery ~ but then maybe in a way it does, maybe taking pictures is in fact taking some of the mood of the moment away, maybe the camera indeed is spoiling some of the essence of the scene, is turning you from a part of the picture into an outside observer, is pushing you to search for the right ankle and the right light instead of allowing you to just be there, to take it all in for the sake of your soul and life and the universe... ...okay,
here she is, getting metaphysical again, but then that is me, that
is the way i am, and that also is the way i find my pictures, or
my pictures find me, i don't know, "you have an eye for pictures"
someone said to me last week, and i'm not sure if this is true,
i know there is something in some of the pictures i took, but i
don't know how it got there, sometimes when i travel i see a scene
and then a sudden shiver is running through me, stirring me up,
touching me, it's the feeling you get when you turn around a corner
with no expectations and are running into a red sunset or a wild
rose and for some seconds you forget everything else and you feel
almost overwhelmed by the intensity of life, and it rather feels
like this sight waited for you to meet it, to be there, to remember
it forever
~ but then the real work isn't done in that three clicks. the real work is done before. like when you reach your destination after a long ride on a long rode, it is not the last few meters that bring you there, but the whole road. it is all your life, all the journeys done, all the days walked through, that brought you to that point, and maybe it is this thought that makes me take all those middle of the road pictures ~ but then what better symbol is there for life than the open road. and it never is the same picture ~~~new
moon smiles~~~ |
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